Coaching is a way of life for many, but only very few have had to go through their own life changing experiences to be able to step forward into this journey of reconnection, and rediscovery.
Vicky Lincoln of Vicky Lincoln Coaching is one of those few, she went through a whole rediscovery process herself, she used coaching to help her, and as a result she is now a certified coach who is destined to be your very own cheerleader.
Q. Can you tell us more about your life journey that lead you to becoming a coach?
Absolutely. It’s been an amazing journey. For far too long, I let my fear of judgement and what others thought of me dictate what I did in my life. I woke up one day and realized I had a life in front of me that I didn’t recognize. I hadn’t listened to or trusted myself, and I had this gut feeling inside that kept growing and I knew I wasn’t living the life I was meant to. I started working with coaches and mentors to find myself again, and to create the life that I really wanted. I found such power and connection in working with other coaches, it’s like they turned my own light back on and guided me to find pure joy and happiness. I had always felt like an outsider, like I didn’t belong, and for the first time I felt a part of something much bigger. It was absolutely life changing for me, and I realized so many others were stuck like I was, especially women. I realized the power I had inside me and that I wanted to give that happiness and freedom and peace to as many women as possible. Everyone deserves to live the life they really want, and that often starts with discovering, or re-discovering what we want.
Q. When you started Vicky Lincoln Coaching did things happen organically, or did you know the exact route that you were taking?
I found coaches who were where I wanted to be to learn from them and get the help to grow. I joined groups and masterminds to learn from those who had a life I wanted, and to connect with like minded entrepreneurs who were also creating the life I wanted to create. Learning from someone else is so much easier and simply feels less lonely. We are built for connection, and we often forget that. I love helping other women, not just clients, but other entrepreneurs. We’re all in this together and there is enough abundance for all of us to live the life we want and to know massive success. My journey still had struggles, fear and doubt stood in my way more than I’d like to admit, but I know that every turn and every setback led me here and for that I am so grateful. I was made for this and every cell in my body knows that I am on the right path and always in the right place, and my success is inevitable. Plus, I love my struggles because in it I found my strength, and I want to use my pain to show other women what’s possible. That you can overcome anything. That you can dream. That you can create a life you’re obsessed with. But you must know your worth and stop settling for anything less. You have to leave safe & choose magic.
Q. We love that on your website you have said ‘You’ve been waiting your whole life for this, and I know we are meeting for a reason’ – this is a great motto to work by, do your clients feel at ease when they hear this?
I believe that the world is constantly giving us clues, guiding us to what’s meant for us. All we need to do is listen and trust our self. Honestly when I wrote most of that I felt like the message that needed to be heard was coming through me. I want to be that clue for someone. I want them to read it and say YES, that’s me and I’m ready. I want to show women what’s possible when they start loving themselves more, stop listening to a world that’s telling us all to fit in, and go after their deepest desires. I believe that everything happens for a reason and I honestly know that every single woman I work with was meant to cross my path. And they are giving just as much back to me as I am to them. And I love that.
Q. Do you have a specific type or way of coaching with all your clients, and can you tell us a little more about what this is?
Everyone is in a different place, needing something specific based on where they’re at today, or where they’re trying to go. However, there are common threads in all of us. For women especially, there are two major limiting beliefs that come up that get in the way of pretty much anything and everything. The first is fear of judgement – caring about what other people think of us. Really this comes back to us judging ourselves too much – other people are just a mirror. And, it’s really the fear that what we’re afraid of being judged about is true. For example, I was afraid of what others would say about me becoming a coach. And part of that was just my own fear that I wasn’t good enough to be a coach. I was afraid others would think I wasn’t good enough, but really it was my own judgement on myself that it was true. This fear also leads to settling because we don’t think we are good enough, so we stay safe with what we have. I engineered safety in my life because the fear of what others would think of me was too heavy and leaving my comfort zone was not an option for me, until I finally realized it was holding me back and I started this journey. The other fear is abandonment. We are searching for love our entire lives – parents, siblings, family, friends, a partner – and we’re afraid that we won’t get it back. This is the fear for me that often led to settling in my own life because I was afraid I would end up alone. We need to know that we are worthy just for being alive, and that we deserve massive success in all areas of life, and that we really can have it all. And honestly that’s why I use the word cheerleader, too. In a world that often feels lonely we aren’t taught confidence, self-love, worth in school and sometimes all we need is someone to remind us, to guide us, to hold our hand, lift us up, and help us see our best self.
Q. Being a coach isn’t something that everyone can do – you need to have certain qualifications, plus an understanding of psychology and behaviours, and a great deal of patience, did you have these before embarking on becoming a coach?
Honestly, no. I didn’t have everything before I started. You can start where you are, with what you have now. I have added qualifications along the way, and I would argue that my coaching experiences have taught me the most and are most valuable. I believe that everything I have gone through in life was for a purpose, and that purpose was to help women going through the same thing. I believe that I am working with women who need me, specifically. A mentor once told me to list out 5 of my own thoughts across several topics he gave us. The point of the exercise was to show us that anyone can be an expert. You’re always a step or two ahead of someone else that needs your guidance and experience. And when you stop to realize that it’s pretty empowering. The thought that someone out there is waiting for me, and needs me, is what keeps me moving forward when I have doubt or fears coming up. I know that I was put on this earth to coach women, and I am reminded of that every time I work with a new client who needs exactly what I have. Since I started believing this, it’s also true for even the women I meet at events, or retreats, or just out on the weekends. I want to change the world through helping women, and I know that every woman I help will help another. And that’s pretty amazing to think about.
Q. Tell us what being a coach means to you?
Helping others and letting the giving guide you. When I work with a woman and I can see her light up again or find the best version of herself that she lost for a little while it gives me a fulfilment I can’t even explain in words. I believe that our fears or limitations prevent us from being who we were meant to be and living the life we want. When I can work with someone to help her find those and work through them, I get to see a woman so powerful and unstoppable create the life she really wants. That can mean anything – more money, a better job, a better partner, a better body, stronger relationships – anything. Every woman has a different goal but being the coach that gets to help other women find happiness is what makes me jump out of bed, and what helps me get through the struggles, because I know what it’s all for.
Q. Did anyone offer you a core piece of advice before launching Vicky Lincoln Coaching, something that you remember to this day, and that you still advocate?
I actually think the best piece of advice I’d give is one that I learned along the way (and wish someone would have told me sooner). That is to do what’s right for me and trust my own decisions. There is a lot of noise out there, especially with the increase in the industry recently, and a lot of people are trying to be the same or follow the same cookie cutter strategy. You can’t copy and paste someone else’s coaching business into your own. I had to learn to turn down the noise and know that my heart has never made a wrong decision. I am unique for my own experiences, and for the coaching I can give other women in my own unique way that no one else can. Someone once asked me if I was worried about all the competition. First of all, I believe there’s enough abundance for all of us, but my response was, “No, there is only one me”. And when I’m stuck or can’t figure something out, I just remind myself of that and it works every time. It led me to running retreats, which I love and am so excited about. I would have only done 1:1 coaching and group programs if I followed what other coaches told me I needed to do. So, I’m glad I listened to and trusted myself!
Q. Have you made any business mistakes that turned into a great learning curve since starting your business?
I don’t believe in mistakes. I believe that failures are just information. But I do wish I had started sooner. Start before you’re ready is something that I heard early on, but my recovering people please and perfectionist traits still held me back. I wish that I had started sooner. So now when I get an idea, or my intuition is guiding me toward something, I act quickly. I use all the clues I spoke about before that I believe are around us all the time and I act on them more quickly. It’s now a core principle for me, I’d say. You’re never really ready so you just need to go for it now!
Q. If you were to offer one piece of advice to someone thinking of setting up a small business to help people through coaching, what would it be?
Find someone else who’s been there, who is where you want to be, and learn from them. It’s so much easier than figuring it out on your own. I have two different coaches currently, because they are both giving me different value. One is for business, and one is for mindset/energy. I am grateful for the 6 coaches I have worked with since I started my journey, and for the hundreds of women I’ve met that have helped our guided me in some way. Who you surround yourself with matters, and if you’re the smartest person in the room you are in the wrong room. Surround yourself with like minded people and be willing to learn from them. Give first and get back in return. We’re all here to help each other in some way, I truly believe that. The women that have guided and helped me have made me a better person, and without that I wouldn’t have a business. Period.
Q. Do you have any words of wisdom that you feel could empower us into feeling that we can achieve anything we put our minds to?
Growth happens when your desire to grow becomes much stronger than your pain. You are far more powerful than you even know. You are here for a reason. The world is waiting for you to step fully into who you were meant to be. You are worthy of your wildest dreams. You are safe, you are supported, you are loved. And you got this.
Start spending time with the right people.
Start making your peace & happiness a daily priority.
Start letting go of the fear, doubt, guilt & any other limiting beliefs.
Start choosing you.
Start leaning into your intuition & trusting yourself.
Start now and see your life change.
PS, I love you.
Thank you for taking the time to answer all our #BossBabe questions for House of Coco Magazine. Visit www.vickylincolncoaching.com for more info.
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