As a rule, when we do something difficult, we always imagine ourselves crossing the finish line, metaphorical or not, exhaustion rolling off us, and people praising us for our achievements. This common fantasy forces us to move faster, study harder, jump higher, all while we think about that ethereal future where we succeed. But here’s the thing: we delude ourselves into thinking that only when we give our best do we deserve praise, and we can become successful. In reality, it’s not really how it works, and the wellbeing liven specialists promote is different – life isn’t always about exhausting your mind and body to the highest point possible. You can move at your own pace AND achieve your dreamed-of results. So, while you’re reading this, let’s set aside your little, dedicated perfectionist and try a different approach.
Hustle Culture Is a Lie
You know the drill: you’ll rest when you’re successful. If you aren’t fast enough, someone else might take this place. This idea is promoted through movies, books, podcasts, and even social media. Everyone seems to run and achieve things, and we just can’t keep up.
That’s the hustle culture. It’s not even success itself but the amount of work you put into it — and this, somehow, becomes our new identity. People wear exhaustion like a badge of honor. Memes and stories of success further support this. It’s funny, it’s relatable, and everyone seems to show that they are exhausted. So when we meet people who want to sleep for at least seven hours and don’t get their coffee as their main breakfast course, we subconsciously view them as lazy, even if we don’t admit to it.
This approach can work, but it won’t last forever. We are people, not machines, and we need moments to stop, take a breath, and connect with ourselves. If we do our best for a long time and never allow ourselves to relax, our energy resources will deplete. We can’t function without fuel.
There’s nothing inherently wrong with the concept of hustle. But when it becomes the only viable option and we let it push us to the limits day after day, it becomes harmful.
Changing the Flow
Slowing down isn’t a weakness — in fact, it’s one of the smartest and strongest things you can do to achieve what you want. When everyone around you accelerates and runs without much consideration, tapping into your mind becomes a rebellion.
Redefine Your Success
Redefine what success means, just for you. It’s not a finish line or that ideal achievement on your shelf, but an approach to living. For some, it’s creating something they love. For others, it’s being around other people or doing socially responsible work. When you define success as you see it, you’re no longer running someone else’s race. That’s why professional runners don’t focus on others when they prepare for a marathon; instead, they start slow, listening to their breathing, heartbeat, social cues, and more. It can get exhausting when you try to fit into someone else’s style of exercise (you lose your breath or rhythm, and so on). That’s how it works for other activities, too.
Finding Your Pace
We move in cycles, which means our energy isn’t always on the same level. Sometimes we’re fast, other times we’re almost still. Try structuring your life in a way that honors your cycle. Time block some days or parts of them to do something related to work, creativity, or simply nothing. Create weekly routines that leave some room for downtime. Try to remind yourself that some weeks will be less productive, and that’s totally okay.
Whenever your old habits try to return, ask yourself: “What am I pursuing here?” Who speaks about this type of success in your head right now? Maybe someone told you this years ago, and you’ve carried this perception with you ever since. Perhaps it’s an unhelpful thinking that no longer works for you. Because when you stop and ask, “What does success mean to me?”, things shift. You may realize that peace matters more than prestige. Or that showing up fully for your loved ones means more than checking off endless goals.
The Pursuit of Results Doesn’t Have to Cost You Everything
The pursuit of results has been quietly redefined by hustle culture into something relentless and often self-destructive. We have been conditioned to equate exhaustion with effort and busyness with worth. But sustainable achievement rarely comes from pushing past every limit. It comes from knowing when to slow down, when to rest, and when to simply be present. Slowing your pace is not the same as giving up. It is often the most intelligent move available, allowing your mind and energy to recover so that when you do show up, you show up fully.
Redefining What Progress Actually Looks Like
Progress is not always visible and it does not always move in a straight line. Some of the most meaningful advances happen during quiet periods of reflection, when we step away from the noise and check in with what we actually want. The pressure to perform constantly narrows our thinking and strips the joy from the very goals we set out to reach. When you give yourself permission to move at your own pace, you stop competing with a version of success that was never really yours to begin with.
Allow Yourself to Be Bored
Have you ever heard something like “If you’re bored, it means you’re just too comfortable and need to do something”? That’s because we have labelled boredom as something passive and, more importantly, useless. But boredom is just a space where you hit the pause button and let your mind wander. Let yourself be bored. Sit in silence. Resist the urge to scroll, to fill every spare moment with stimulation.
When you are always busy with tasks, you close the tap on your freedom. Without constantly performing for results and focus, you create space for quiet wondering and even enjoying the moment. In many cases, you can find a solution to problems that seemed unmanageable before. And it teaches us that life doesn’t have to be entertaining all the time.
What Are You Missing Out On?
Let’s try a small study in the negatives. Imagine you’re feeling guilty for not doing enough (at work, for your family, or with your chores). But instead of thinking of yourself as irresponsible or lazy, ask yourself: What are you missing out on when you spend more time on things that you have to do instead of what you want to?
Here are just a few internal thoughts a person might have:
- I am missing out on family time when I take on an extra shift, and I want to teach my kids how to ride a bike.
- I am missing out on making art that I love when I help every colleague in my vicinity.
- I am missing out on a great stroll that benefits my health when I do more and more chores.
All of these are just small examples, but they can become your reality check and stop you from blindly pursuing someone else’s goals.
Not Everything Is a Race to Win
When it comes to your life, there’s no prize for arriving the fastest if you lose everything along the way. Your journey doesn’t have to match anyone else’s. You are not late. You are not falling behind. You are just living your own life.
Take a breath. Close your eyes. And let yourself wander and discover.
Sponsored by theliven.com
