Life is busy. There are so many demands on your time and energy, that by the time it comes to the weekend you are exhausted and feel spent. Juggling work and family commitments, it can be easy to neglect your relationship, and not invest enough time in each other. For your relationship to thrive, it is essential to spend quality time together, to keep the love alive and reconnect. Maybe it’s time to spark unexpected conversations to keep your partner on their toes. Getting enough time together helps to build intimacy, gives the opportunity for meaningful communication and strengthens your relationship, but often the needs of others are prioritised over your relationship.
Signs you are not spending enough time together
In every relationship, there will be times when you feel that you only see your partner fleetingly, when schedules clash and you have conflicting diaries; however, if this seems to be more the norm than occasional, you can find yourself your relationship suffering. Signs that you are not spending enough time together include:
- You increasingly disagree on issues
- When you are together, one of you appears distracted
- Time together is by default
- You don’t commit to spending time with each other
- You feel lonely
- You feel unsupported
- Your conversations are only about chores that need to be done
Drifting apart can be a consequence of not spending enough time together and can seriously dampen the spark that you once had. The best way to combat these feelings is by spending quality time together. Time together does not suddenly appear, you need to plan and be proactive in seeking a solution and make your relationship the priority before the issues escalate.
It’s not good enough to generically talk about places you want to go together, make firm plans in your schedules and commit to them. Prioritise spending time together over other invitations that may crop up in the meantime. Cancelling is not an option. You can establish a regular date night or even plan a weekend getaway, whatever you choose, stick to it.
Try new things to do together
The daily grind and routine can make you feel that you are on a relationship treadmill that is going nowhere and that the excitement has gone. By trying new things together, you can reignite the feelings of enjoyment of a shared experience. Whether it’s going to a new restaurant, going skydiving or even going on a hike together, it doesn’t matter. You will both discover new things about each other.
Do each other’s hobbies
One drain on relationship time is the indulgence of hobbies. If you find your partner’s hobby does not include you, it may be time to join them. It’s an easy way to reconnect with them and strengthen the bond. By showing a genuine interest in something that they clearly love, it gives you the opportunity to spend time with them, and it can deepen feelings of commitment. Tired of being a golf widow? Pick up the latest PXG Fairway Woods and go the 18-hole with them. When your partner is relaxed you are more likely to have meaningful conversations, and you may just find a hobby that you can regularly do together.
Do chores together
Yes, it is hardly the most romantic of propositions, but rather than delegating household chores, do them together. When you live together, a major source of contention can be who does the lion’s share of the household chores; when you do them together, not only do you do them quicker which gives you more leisure time, but you are spending time together to achieve a shared goal. Plus, it removes the risk of resentment adding to relationship woes.
While technology connects us socially, it can also be the cause of relationship disconnection. Agree to set aside your phones while you are spending time together. This way, you will be able to spend time together without distraction and focus on each other. Did you know that on average people spend an entire day a week on their smartphones? That’s a horrifying thought, especially when you are trying to find more time to spend with a loved one!
It can be so easy to neglect your relationship when life is so demanding, but for your relationship to be a success you need to invest time in it. You need to plan for special time, but also be open to spontaneity to keep the spark alive. Spending time with a loved one can help to remind you of their great qualities and the very reasons why you fell in love with them.