Understanding the Duties of a Maid of Honour

Being asked to be someone’s maid of honor is a massive compliment. Most people are aware of that, but not everyone knows about what comes after the asking—the duties of a maid of honor during the wedding planning process and at the wedding itself. The following will explore some of the things you might be expected to do as a maid of honor. Of course, every couple is different, so it follows that every wedding will be different as well. It’s a good idea to speak to the bride about her expectations to be sure you’re not missing anything.

Understand You’re Still A Guest

You will be attending the wedding, and as such will be playing two parts. You’re the maid of honor, but you’re also a guest. It is customary in most cultures to bring a gift to a wedding. Take some time to figure out what makes a great wedding gift. If you’re unsure what to get, you can always just ask the bride. There’s probably something she needs or wants but won’t buy for herself.

Bridal Shower

Traditionally, the bridal shower is a surprise event. This means the maid of honor contacts all the women in the wedding party and the closest female friends and family members of the bride and gets them all coordinated for a bridal shower. Of course, you know the bride better than most. If she isn’t into surprise events, be sure to give her a heads-up. Just like being sung happy birthday by a group of waiters at the restaurant, some people love surprise parties, and some people hate them.

Get Organized

Things will get hectic. No matter how chill the bride and groom are, planning the biggest party of someone’s life is never straightforward (especially because this party involves people from different families and friend groups, and it’s really difficult to cater to everyone’s interests and needs). Find yourself a solid maid of honor checklist and be sure to bring up each item on the list (except for the surprise ones) as early as possible with the bride, just in case there’s something she has a preference for but hasn’t thought about of yet. Modernmoh.com has an excellent checklist to get you started. Again, check with the bride (and the groom) if there’s anything not on the list they’re worried about.

Listen

Being a good listener is maybe the hardest thing on this list, but it’s also maybe the most important. Planning a wedding is stressful. As much as we’d like it to be about love, it’s often about: how do we deal with the fact that Uncle Jim only quit drinking three days ago and is going to be surrounded by alcohol and is it worth going in debt for a party and that stepmother the groom hates is going to be there, and last time she showed up, she and the bride got into a screaming match, and so obviously the bride is nervous to see her again. Brush up on your active listening skills and keep yourself present with the bride and hear her out. Sometimes all that’s needed is a little venting.